Mom, what's burning?

That would be fish, son. And yes, it stinks.

It stinks that I took an easy pattern and was totally brain-dead when I tried to knit it. I frogged a few times, and tinked a bit too. Ugh.

When I finally did finish the parts, I had to iron them on a damp cloth. Well, my iron is collecting dust normally because, well, isn't a dryer just as good? Seriously.

So, take me, occasional ironer: add acrylic (tranlsation: machine washable) yarn: and PRESTO! Meet Scorchie:



This photo doesn't do it justice, but let's just say that the ocean blue the yarn started as is now a crunchy, orange-tinted color instead. See the flat, shiny stitches near the bottom of the picture? Melted.

Yep, I didn't check the temperature setting on the old iron and it fried poor Scorchie when he was still just filets. I almost tossed him then and there, but decided to finsh him anyway and see how bad he really was. Maybe nobody will notice, unless of course they touch it, or smell it, that is. Ahh, the aroma of melted plastic...

Does anyone remember my last good knitting project?

What do I do?

Well, knitters, as some as you may have seen, I was running an Ugly FO contest. I thought the rules were pretty clear, but I still didn't get any participation. Well, not much. Erin linked to Mr. Linky but there were no blog posts. Only pictures. One or two others commented. That's it. No Mr. linky, no blog posts linking to me, nothing.

Which makes me think I'm the only one knitting ugly things :-)

But, Erin's hat did make me smile! That wouldn't shrink any more in the dryer maybe? Anyway, Erin is the winner. If you see this, please contact me. You didn't leave me any way to contact you!!

If Erin doesn't respond, we'll try again :-)

The Ugliest FO Contest

Once again, I ran across this baby hat pattern and thought, "How cute! I should make that!" So I went stash-diving and found some Bernat Softee Chunky that I thought was a fun color when I bought it. Not so much now. But, it was colorful and kinda cheery so I thought, "It might look OK on a baby hat." Here's the pattern and picture:

I cast on, and a few days later, I got to the finishing part. The pattern was for DPN's, but I'd rather poke my eyes out with them than knit with them, so I did Magic Loop instead. What's it matter, right?

Well, in this pattern, it does. A LOT. You kitchener stitch a third of it closed, make I-cord, and knot it. Then you kitchener stitch the second section, I-cord, and repeat this process for the last third.

See how those pointy tops are around the hat? Not in a straight line? I figured out when I finished the second part that something was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. But, I decided to just give up because it was so darned ugly that honestly, finishing it properly wouldn't have helped!

Behold, the Ugliest FO EVER!!!




My 14 year old son and I affectionately call it the "Butt Scrubber," because I honestly can't think of another use for this awful thing.

What's that? You don't think it the ugliest ever? Well, prove it.

That's right, knitters. If you can show me a FO uglier than mine, you will win something very non-ugly: a skein of Blue Sky Alpacas Organic Cotton, in the color you choose from my stash.

But you have to put your money, or knitting, where your blog is. Show me your ugliest FINISHED knitted work on your blog, linking back to this post. Come back here and sign Mr. Linky so we can all see how talented you are :-), and on April Fool's Day (for all of us foolish knitters :-)) I will announce the winner. The winner is whoever I think has made something more horrendous than me. (Well, it's my contest, so I can do that, right?)

So go on. Be brave. Show us those Ugly FO's!!